Sad News

On August 1st, we were asked to come back for another ultrasound to make sure the pregnancy was progressing. Unfortunately, it did not and in fact there was no heart beat. This was absolutely devastating. You have obviously committed yourself to the pregnancy and started thinking about the future which you just can't help. You go through all the emotions, thinking its you, wondering if it can ever happen, thinking about what you could have done wrong. There is a huge dark cloud around you.

I waited a week to see if it would pass naturally and it did not. My doctor finally called and I made myself clear that i was done waiting. You still have all the pregnancy symptoms (nausea, sore boobs, bad sleeps) and you're dealing with the emotional symptoms of pregnancy loss. It's quite cruel. She offered to prescribe misoprostol which would move things along. After discussing with Case, I decided to go ahead with it.

I took misoprostol at 7am on Thursday. At 1030am, I felt nothing and was weeding the garden outside. At 1115am, i felt slight cramping and decided to watch TV. At 1130am, I was hunched over on the couch in horrible pain. That was probably the worst pain I have ever felt. I have several tattoos and nothing could compare. At one point, i was worried that I was alone at home. In retrospect, I'm happy I was alone because I needed to concentrate on the pain and get through it. This intense pain lasted until 5pm, and that is when things started to move down below. It has been 5 days and i'm still experiencing some cramping and a period type situation. I am very happy it's over and done. You seriously need to experience the loss physically in order to mentally move on.

We can now look forward to our wedding (which seems like an eternity away) and hope that the next go around is a success.